I never knew that I would walk through this river of grief and immense grief. This river has no mercy or compassion for me. 

My grief is so great that no amount of caring can take it away. 

It is impossible. 

Even my tears don’t want to come, though I am human.

It feels like the jaws of hell have opened its mouth, ready to swallow me. What wrong did I do for my soul to deserve this kind of punishment?

Deep down, I am a man with no direction. It feels like an eternal storm raging inside this mortal body of mine.

When will this end, I ask myself? I could not even say goodbye to you in a decent manner because I couldn’t look at you.

You changed so much from a vibrant person to one who only wanted to sleep.

Each day goes by without a struggle now. I wish there was a way I could give you the world, but I couldn’t. 

From that point of view, I am guilty. I feel as if I have failed you. Anyway, I have no more words. 

RIP wherever those mighty winds take you, mum.