For some time now I decided to undertake this journey of mine.
It would be a journey of forgiving myself and finding some form of peace to rest my weary soul.
People always saw the jovial side of me but they never saw the other side of me.
I always tried to hide it from them and that became a great burden for me.
My home was not my home because I always felt the walls were closing on me and I had no means of escaping or nowhere to run.
Even Mother Nature began to ridicule me. Why I don’t know?
I felt my iniquities were insurmountable and could not be absolved.
No priests wanted to come near me but rather walked away as if I had leprosy.
The dark universe began to stare at me with a questioning mind.
“What is he doing here?”
“We don’t want him near us.”
My sins began to crucify me to my own body.
I became a prisoner unto myself with those heavy shackles that I constantly drag along where I go.
Yes, I have experienced events in my lifetime that I wouldn’t want any person to go through.
The coffee that I love leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
In some way or another I am guilty of this crime that is why there is no reprieve or no bail set out for me.
In truth there is no justice for someone like me.
Yes, I will carry that guilt to my grave.
Strangely enough I am able to forgive others but it is very hard to forgive myself.