Hear ye! Hear ye! Hear ye!

Sound the trumpets as loud as can be

There’s a special guest at dinner

It sounds as if our son picked a winner

Bring out the best crockery.

Lest we are considered a mockery

Of a girl our son is in love with

We hope it’s not someone with a wide girth

He won’t say much

And seems to brush

Off the eager questions, we pose

About the love that suddenly arose

From out of nowhere, it seems, he settled down

And found the woman who turned his frown

Into a smile and laughter, he enjoys more

She must be spectacular for sure

Wait, surely this can’t be her cause she’s not white!

Something about this ain’t right!

Her lips are too big.

Her hair is wild, and is that an Afro or a wig?

My dear boy, have you gone crazy?

Is your eyesight hazy?

Can you see she’s on the dark side

No amount of English can hide

The fact that she is not one of us

Best you put her on the first bus

Out of sight so we can explain

Why it’s wrong and is a shame

Let me parade some blond, blue-eyed women you can date

Surely that way, there will be less hate?

Directed at you precious son

For choosing the right one

Does she know how to eat with a knife and fork?

And how to uncork

The wine we may have for dinner tonight

She seems to be a sight

To behold, let’s look at her front teeth

We’ll know for sure by her speech

Can she speak as we do?

Or butcher the language too.

Let’s stare as she takes her first slurp

And hear if there would be a loud burp

Coming from her because she lacks

What we know, and that’s a fact.

How could you bring this shame to our door?

Thinking her colour doesn’t matter is your biggest flaw

Son, we love you and want only the best

But this is putting our love for you to the test.

Look how she stands and sways.

She’s a loose woman who will surely betray

You because you know they have no morals

And most tend to sit on their laurels

Expecting you to work while she does nothing

Oh, she’s working? Well, that’s at least something

Less to worry about for now

We still can’t figure out how

You intend to make this work because you’re not the same

And love is not a game

You could get harmed by being with her

Let’s hope this relationship ends with dinner.