While most of you are thinking of the band Queen’s hit song with the above title, I am thinking about living.
I want to break free from the irrational, subconscious, and unconscious fear of being unable to breathe. Of contracting a virus that merely mentions you as a statistic, not as an individual.
I want to break free from the fear-mongering that follows me every waking moment on all platforms of social and print media.
The constant, “Do you have symptoms of Covid19?” makes me doubt my sanity. So I double and triple check just in case I may have missed some sign.
I want to break free from the slight cough that sends my mind into overdrive. The hellish reality of a situation I am powerless to control.
I want to break free from people who follow me to close in supermarkets disregarding the social distance we are compelled to adhere to. At least for now.
I can’t be the only one feeding the fear monster that lives inside me when I accidentally touch a surface someone has touched before me or when I naturally lean against a counter, momentarily forgetting that my very life depends on my ability to unlearn most social and human norms.
I want to break free from the shackles placed on my movements during the lockdown. That spontaneous drives into the countryside and stopping at quaint places for coffee now has to be planned. Thereby dismissing the spontaneity of this simple act.
Finally, I want to break free from seeing all sorts of people especially children with these shapeless pieces of cloth covering half their faces, silencing them like a piece of duct tape and making it seem as if we are all extras hired in the making of a futuristic movie.
I don’t want to hear about the death toll and infection rates rising yet I have to because right now as I write this, I get to celebrate today without being infected. I get to live and walk, albeit slowly through this pandemic that has brought the world as I have known it to a standstill. A slow-motion where our actions are measured and thoroughly assessed before any plans can be made.
I want to break free and live unrestricted but the reality is right here, right now, I can’t.