“In the name of love
What more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love”
U2 lyrics

What more in the name of love?
Answering the question myself I would have to say, “much more.”

As humans, our desperate desire to be accepted and loved is often misguided and abused by narcissistic behaviour of those we think we love.

But how can we love someone who doesn’t love in return? Love is a doing word. It means actions speak louder than words. So if the one you love doesn’t love you, what makes you decide that person is worthy of your love?
I’m not referring to violent relationships because the reason for staying is often complex. I’m talking about the partner that you know deep down doesn’t love you in the same way you love them.

Loving someone when it’s not reciprocated is like trying to fill a bucket with water while there is a hole at the bottom. You will discover that the endless attempts to fill said bucket only leads to emptiness, feelings of despair, embarrassment, and depression.

You can’t love someone unless you love yourself.
Loving yourself means getting to know your imperfect, beautiful, worthy of love self.

If you think you have a few extra pounds to lose, you need to change the colour of your hair, you need to change your style of clothing you wear, you need to drive a better car and so on, will make someone love you. I can assure you that other than on a superficial level, not much would have changed. Because loving yourself comes from within.

You deserve to be loved fiercely, passionately and faithfully. You deserve loyalty and you deserve honesty. You judge yourself harshly and look at all your negative attributes never thinking that your positive attributes may outweigh the negative. Unfortunately, your inner voice then confirms this belief by the way you love others.

When you change the way you view yourself, people change the way they view you.

So this is my 2 cents worth.

You will never be perfect because perfection doesn’t exist. It’s much like expecting it to snow in the midst of a heatwave.

You’re not a bad person only someone that has been hurt by bad things.

Your love needs to start pouring into an internal bucket. Repair the hole in your bucket by affirming to yourself each day how wonderful you are, not your ego self but your inner being.

Each time a negative thought crosses your conscious mind, replace it with a positive one.
For instance, if you think to yourself that you’re overweight (negative thought), tell yourself what beautiful eyes you have or what a generous nature you have.

Keep doing that until you love the “ugly” away.

Soon you will realize that loving and accepting yourself has crept up on you and you start to see things differently. And when your bucket is full of love then and only then do you pass it on to someone that deserves you sharing that precious aspect of yourself.

Be with someone that will fill your bucket each time you extract love from it. Be with someone who realizes that your bucket is filled with endless love and as you empty it they should be replenishing it.

When you have given so much and it never seems enough and you ask yourself, “what more do I have to do in the name of love?”
The answer is nothing.

You’ve done enough for someone else now start doing for you.

You are worthy and you matter.