Do you give and get flowers from your loved ones? And does it matter? What’s the big deal anyway right… 

Most women love receiving flowers, the beautiful colours and the pleasant smell that fills your home after you’ve put it in some water and placed the vase somewhere you are sure everyone who enters will notice. Besides the obvious reasons just mentioned significance is certainly given to the gesture and thought behind it. 

I had a friend who hated getting flowers, she complained that she had to find a vase for it, then ensure it had enough water so that it doesn’t dry out, and eventually, the task of throwing it out and clearing up the dried petals from the living room floor became an annoyance. Oh, the irony of life, she always got them every Friday evening. Like clockwork, her husband would walk through the front door with a bunch of whatever he could get on the way home. She never told him that she didn’t like flowers until one day a friend who had a little too much to drink mentioned it in conversation. They laughed about it and it was decided he would stop buying her flowers every week. As time went by she missed getting flowers, she certainly did not miss the cleaning up after it dried but she felt disappointed every Friday when he didn’t come home with bright red roses or beautiful lilies.

Like my friend, many women appreciate the thought behind it probably more than the actual flowers unless you are crazy about plants and nature. It’s the simple fact that he thought of you and took time out in rush hour traffic to stop and buy you flowers. It’s him still making an effort even after he’s won your heart. It’s him doing something for you not because he likes it but because you do. It’s him wanting you to know that you are special to him and worth the effort but most men don’t buy flowers which is why many women have to drop hints or in some cases outright demand flowers.

Women show appreciation by cooking his favourite meal, by massaging his feet after he’s had a long tiring day, by buying him that new tool that he wanted to add to his toolbox since last summer. 

Due to gender bias in child-rearing women tend to be more open and vocal about their feelings. If they love you they will tell you and show you at every opportunity they get. Men, however, have been programmed to be less emotional and show no emotion. So if he doesn’t buy you flowers what does it mean? Does he love you less or maybe not at all? In most cases, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. 

People say and do things according to their belief systems, it might be that he just doesn’t believe in buying you flowers, chocolates or any gifts. I do believe once you talk to him about how you feel and why it is important for you, he should then be expected to at least do it on special occasions if it means something to you. My mum never got flowers even after asking my dad for it year after year. She now despises him because after 34 years he’s made no effort whatsoever to do things for her that were important to her.

My friend who hated getting flowers eventually found out that her husband was cheating and every Friday he would buy flowers for his mistress when they met for their little rendezvous. He would then just grab a bunch for his wife at the same time and throw it on the back seat perhaps out of guilt for what he was doing behind her back. She now hates flowers even more than before. 

I, on the other hand, am a hopeless romantic, living out my life like a story from a Jane Austen novel that never quite goes the way I want it to. I love flowers, not just the gesture and thought behind it but I love the actual flowers. They make me feel warm inside and give me a burst of sudden joy. I love the way it gives character to a room and the scent that fills the air around me. My favourite flowers are sunflowers but to this day, I have never received flowers.