T.W: Rape:

So let me say straight away I don’t swear. Not because I think I’m better than someone who does but only because swear words were simply not used in my conservative family.

I have just read more than 100 comments on a post from a woman that marched to Parliament who was extremely offended by some women’s posters reading: “LOS MY PO*S AF!” The more than 100 comments from women agreed with her that we need to act like ladies.

Here are the problems though:

Men who are abusing, raping, murdering women in this country are NOT acting like gentlemen yet women are told to act like ladies.

The women are offended by the derogatory term for female genitalia, NOT by the babies that are raped and murdered, the women that are abused, raped and murdered and the general disrespect women get from men is brushed over as this “bad word” becomes the focus. So let’s all focus on that “bad word” and ignore the “bad behaviour from men.

As an abuse survivor myself (as many women were that marched) NO woman has a right to police another woman’s anger. NO RIGHT! You may not agree with the terms used (as is your right) but you have NO right to force another to behave in a manner that is acceptable and palatable for you.

Rape is violent! Women are hurting and angry! This is evident in posts like the one mentioned. You can’t take a knife to a gunfight. You will lose every single time. You don’t know those women’s history or what they have to deal with on a daily basis in townships while you soak up the sun in surburbia.

“Would you kindly, if it’s not too much of a bother, refrain from attempting to make your member contact my vagina without my consent?”

Does this sound better?

Is it going to make those men not violently rape because you are asking them politely not to?

Why are you NOT laying the blame, those women’s anger, and so forth squarely at the door of the men who violate us time and again?

We NEED and MUST do better by our fellow sisters, so instead of judging their language, hug them, counsel them, befriend them.

We need to heal instead of harm each other.

If we fail to empathize and support victims of gender-based violence the only thing that remains between two “sisters” is purely an act, manufactured for the cameras.