Many years ago, I left this old country in search of my true calling in this life. I cannot recall how many years flew by. 

But to my mind, I just had to leave; it felt as if something was chasing me away from there or someone was driving me away.

But somehow, though, I had a good life over there where I stayed. Somehow I always felt a sense of deep guilt, and that guilt began to haunt me like a ghost of yesteryear.

It felt as if I betrayed the old country and friends that I had- as if I had absconded my duties towards them.

Nothing could wash away the guilt! 

It was like a sword hanging over me! Even my soul was drowning in the dark, broody river!

Then one day, I decided to return to the old country. Mother Nature looked at me as if I was a stranger. It felt as if heavens wrath came down upon me

–  with its violent storms and raging, unforgiving winds.

My friends had begun to ridicule me as if I did something wrong.

They all interrogated me.

Yes, I had changed while they were still living in a time of celebration- a celebration where anything goes. In truth, I never judged them, because it wasn’t my place to do so.

Then I returned home, but in truth, I still felt that guilt. I guess I thought I did my best.

I washed the sand off my shoes and vowed never to return.  It is one closed chapter never to be opened again. 

Yes, I am still searching for my true calling in this life. Who knows where I will land up!