“You’re hateful!”

“You’re stupid!”

“You’re ugly and hate the fact that you’re not white!”

“Crawl back in your cave and die b*tch!”

“You’ll regret this!” 

“You’re a liar!”

“You better watch your back!”

Based on the above, you would think that my surname was Capone or Bundy and that I was on the F.B.I’s most wanted list. No, I haven’t committed any heinous crime nor stolen money from orphaned children but, I am guilty of educating about racism, social inequality, sexism and patriarchy and social ills that plague our society.

The frightening aspect of the above is that most insults and hate mail I receive come from a liberal white person. The one who loves the idea of all of us holding hands and benevolently bestowing their “wisdom” and “charity” onto any black and brown person provided that they display the correct amount of humility and gratitude.

The white people loved “Madeeba” because he was amicable and nothing like the “loudmouth” left-wing who loudly agitate for change.

The hate, anger and insults are always done away from the public eye, in keeping with the “civilized,” nonviolent image they portray in public. 

The generous benefactor, who will gladly give to charity, but never enough to listen to black and brown people’s solutions on how to actively seek redress and reparations.

They do enough with charity organizations in the townships until you talk about social housing in the suburbs, and suddenly they’re not as affable!

They have black friends until the black friend either wants to marry into the family or becomes more successful, then the gloves are off, and the ready smile becomes tighter as the mask of civility slips.

“That’s because you people just want everything!” We are often told. No, actually justice, equality, and equity are all we seek. We don’t need to be friends for this to happen.

“Go and ask those fat cats in Government to help!” They moan as they cleverly divert the conversation away from what they as individuals could be doing to effect visible change.

Of course, here I have to take a break and say: “Not all liberals!” Because some are making wonderful changes but there’s so few of them that it’s largely overrun by the ones who think they’re doing good without having consulted those who they are meant to be helping.

The “let them have cake” brigade will spend a fortune buying you dinner at a restaurant, while you as a black or brown person are thinking about what you could have done for your family with that money.

The reality is, as humans, we do not consult animals. We see their pain or neglect and help accordingly, as do organizations such as “doctors without borders,” but black and brown people aren’t animals and are perfectly capable of telling you what they need should you feel the need to help.

The lack of collaboration and consultation makes me think that the “help” is more to salve guilty consciences and is ego-driven than a deep desire and compassion to help in a way that would forever change black and brown people’s lives.

When we show that more harm than good comes from this false “rainbow nation” narrative that liberals cling to, suddenly, the help is withheld.  It’s as if we are naughty children who didn’t put their toys away or we get “punished” for being ungrateful, and this is where I have to question motive.

Think about it, if I “hated” everyone on earth and you were a compassionate, loving, giving person, surely my “hate” wouldn’t and shouldn’t affect you? If this is the scenario, you should be delving deep into your psyche, be introspective, and honest about the real reasons you are offering your help and if that is the way you feel, then stand in your truth.

Stand firm and say it for what it is because this opens up to honest conversations that would make you aware that you insulting me or any activist is to soothe your hurt feelings.

Have the uncomfortable conversations, the war of words, but when you are done, have “real” conversations’ and discussions that heal rather than hinder progress.

Insults, profanity, anger and hate is only effective in shutting down conversations where you feel a false sense of comfort that you have won.

It’s never been about winning but always about humanity!