I am sitting on this wooden park bench with my thoughts invading my mind. Without me knowing about it, for years I wore an invisible mask that was like a second skin to me.
People pass me by, some of them greet me, others just stare at me. Only I can see that dark invisible cloud over my head.
They held me in high esteem and couldn’t see my flaws. Every Sunday, I sat in front of the altar listening to those divine words spoken.
But in my mind, those words were not meant for me.
I took from the poor to enrich myself!
I was so self-righteous, so judgemental and extremely envious.
I felt no one could compare to me.
Yes, I felt like a second Judas Iscariot who held that thirty pieces of silver. Not only have I betrayed myself, but also the human race.
Indeed I guess there is a Judas in every one of us.
I wondered if I should pay them back the money I borrowed. Who were they to dictate to me?
Then one day, a child sat by me, and I never knew who she was? I began to tell her my predicament, and after a lengthy conversation, she said, “You are forgiven!”
It felt like the scales of darkness were slowly but surely coming off.
I felt like a new person!
From that day forth, I lived a totally humble existence.