Conclusion to Truth About Dating and Being Human Part 4

Who are you?

Out of the blue this question comes at me from someone I just met and suddenly it is as if I see my whole life in focus. This then is my answer – today. I am always in formation, always changing, trying to become a better person – but this is who I am right at this moment.

I am a kind, sensitive man – an empath and a writer. At the same time, I am a very competitive person with great ambition for my business. I am also a loving dad that has sacrificed so much for his children. I am 51 years old and got divorced a year ago after two years of being separated. I don’t have much financially but I have a lot of wisdom and I am working myself up into a place where I will be better off. I am very egalitarian in my view off the world. I was raised by a dad that was a brigadier in the South African Police, and yet I always saw him treat generals and homeless people with the same respect. I believe all life has worth and that poverty is a trap that is incredibly difficult to escape. We, I believe, therefore, need a social safety net. I fiercely defend women’s rights and the rights of all minorities. I am a philosopher who has been taught to be able to hold two conflicting ideas in my mind and be able to argue for and against both sides.

I am not religious, but I consider myself spiritual. While I might not believe in a deity and definitely not in any agentism in the establishment of reality, I do believe that there is a lot of innate good in people that can manifest in loving-kindness, and that can seem supernatural at times. I believe in love in all its forms. But being a philosopher, I also recognize the animalistic side of humans, the greed, the selfishness, the lack of empathy that sometimes seems to ooze out of humanity. And I also recognize those elements in me and fight to be a better person every day. I believe in soul connection, in spiritual bonds, in chemistry between two people who fall in love – and the fact that the beauty of that mystery is the fact that we are not always sure how much of that is caused by evolutionary patterns deeply embedded in us, by pheromones and other invisible human factors that draw us towards one person and repel us from another – sometimes with no logical reason why. So, while not religious, I believe every person is on their own spiritual journey and I would fight with my whole being to preserve the right of someone to practice religion or spirituality the way they see fit – as long as it doesn’t harm anybody.

I believe life can be beautiful, but I also recognize that for a large part of this planet life is a struggle, and I am always cautious to stay focused on being thankful for what I have, and willing to live with an open hand and help where I can. Like all humans, I wish for many things. I wish I had more time and resources to give to worthy causes. I wish I had the time to write another novel. I wish for a life that will be long enough to experience the joy of grandchildren. I wish for being proud of myself of what I did with my life – not just through my own eyes, but also the eyes of my children. I wish to learn to dance and have many wonderful experiences doing so. I wish to get fit again, to finish my degree in philosophy, to guide young people, and to live my life from my heart and my gut, fully alive, fully aware, empathetic, energetic, and focused in my quest to leave the world a better place than I found it. And I wish to do that with someone – a soul mate, so to speak, who will get me, all of me – even the ugly. Who will believe in me – but who will accept me how they found me. Someone who will take my hand when life falls apart and laugh with me when life is wonderful! That is, I guess where I am in life… This is 51…